Review – Everything, Everything

Everything Everything Poster

Everything Everything Poster

Based on the young adult novel of the same name.

A teenager, kept sheltered and secret from most of the world longs to see what they are missing. The outside world, however, could easily be deadly due to a rare medical condition. Defying reason and authority and motivated by romance, this teen runs off to experience life and find answers, even if it means getting sick and dying. Along the way, theft is romanticized, teen sex is glamorized, and a dark family secret rears its head in the last few minutes – too late to have any real impact.

Am I about to review The Space Between Us again? Nope, but sure sounds like it.

Madeline (Amandla Stenberg) has an immune deficiency disorder which prevents her from ever leaving her hermetically sealed home, or coming into contact with pretty much anyone else, ever. When a cute and mysterious boy moves in next door, however, something is awoken inside of her.

This chick flick is sappy, vapid, pulpy, and forgettable. The most memorable thing about it is the imaginary astronaut trying to drink a soda from a straw, which is completely unimportant to anything else in the story. Though Stenberg has grown into a lovely and infectious young woman, her character is devoid of anything that resembles common sense or a third dimension. The moment she’s paid a compliment by a young member of the opposite gender, she seems ready to change and possibly end her entire life. We’re supposed to just accept that “love” is there, yet we’re never given any reason to suspect anything beyond meaningless and empty teenage infatuation.

Completely modern, half the film’s dialogue takes place as text messages – either with speech bubbles of sorts, or with a dramatization that has the actors actually face to face. Simple things like plot holes are given nary a second glance, and the adult characters here exit almost exclusively to hinder our hero and to act foolish and/or malicious.

Existing simply to exist and tell this one dimensional and rather contrived and trite story, this movie is utterly forgettable, tasteless, and frankly rather boring to boot. The ending shouldn’t come as a surprise, as  the film has given itself few options that would satisfy its intended audience, and it is over too quickly to make a lastly impression.

Grown up since The Hunger Games, Stenberg may yet become a star and leading lady in her own right, but this is not the film that is going to do it for her.

Mrs. Hamster did not screen this film

Brother Hamster did not screen this film

My rating: Two out of five hats

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Trailer:

Everything, Everything pops into 2,801 theaters, May 19

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